Partner has PSSD? What it means and how to help

Did your partner’s sex drive, feeling in their genitals or closeness to you change on an antidepressant, and not come back after they stopped? It may be post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (PSSD), named after SSRI antidepressants such as citalopram. It can take away desire itself, so it isn’t a judgement on you.

PSSD isn’t only about sex. Its main sign, on a checklist doctors and researchers proposed in 2022, is a lasting change in how the genitals feel, often numbness. Other symptoms can include feeling emotionally numb, problems with concentration and memory, and changes in senses such as smell or taste. So the distance you feel may be part of it too.

Benjamin was 27, and already married, when he started the antidepressant Cymbalta (duloxetine) in 2011. Someone close to him once asked a fair question. They didn’t have sex that often with their own partner, so was losing it really such a big deal? His answer may say what your partner finds hard to put into words.

Play video: Benjamin on what PSSD took from him (extract)

The sex itself is only a small part of sexuality, he says. The bigger loss is that “you don’t want to have sex anymore”. What he misses most is looking forward to it with his wife.

Does my partner still find me attractive?

If PSSD is the cause, what’s gone is desire in general, not desire for you. The leaflet for the antidepressant Cipralex lists a lower sex drive as a common side effect. When it lasts after stopping, the 2022 checklist counts it as one sign of PSSD.

Numbness plays a part too. When touch barely registers, your partner can’t respond the way they used to. From the outside, that can look like rejection. It happens to women as well as men, and our page on PSSD in women covers what women describe.

Your partner may not tell you all of it. Thomas, one of 10 people interviewed for a 2026 UK study, said his partner asked if he felt any pleasure with the numbness. “I don’t feel pleasure. But I can’t say that,” he said. If your partner seems to hold something back, it may be this.

Why does my partner feel so distant?

Because PSSD can numb feelings as well as the body. Feeling emotionally numb is on the checklist, and it can reach the feelings your partner has for you.

Arthur, another man in the same study, was in a relationship he was really happy in. Then, “literally overnight”, he said, he “couldn’t feel anything anymore for her”. Nobody can say yet whether feelings like his come back. Our article on whether antidepressants can numb love looks at what research there is.

Concentration and memory can suffer too, so even a conversation can be hard work. Benjamin describes a narrow funnel into his brain, where “only a little bit of information can come through at once”. In this short extract, he explains what happens when someone gives him directions.

Play video: Benjamin on taking in information (extract)

Could it be the depression, or the tablets?

Either can lower sex drive, so it’s worth asking a GP. The NHS list of depression symptoms includes “low sex drive”, but it doesn’t mention numbness. Our article on telling PSSD from depression goes through the differences.

PSSD is the name for problems that stay after stopping. So if your partner is still taking the medicine, it isn’t PSSD yet. Once problems have lasted three months after the last tablet, the checklist says it’s more likely to be PSSD.

Because it carries on after the tablets stop, it’s easy to blame the relationship instead. Jo, a woman in the same study, was still questioning her relationship a year after her last tablet. She wondered whether it was her, or her partner, or the two of them. “It never occurred to me that it was still the drug at this point,” she said.

How can I help my partner with PSSD?

Take them at their word, and let them set the pace. Many people with PSSD say it took time to be taken seriously.

Our page on PSSD and your partner is written for the person who has PSSD. Reading it gives you their side.

These medicines help many people. If your partner is still taking one, that’s a decision for them and their prescriber. Don’t stop suddenly.

Report it: it helps everyone

A doctor’s note helps you. A report to the medicines regulator helps everyone else: it is how patterns get noticed.

• No proof needed. A suspicion is enough, even years after stopping. In the UK, you can report it for your partner, with their permission.
• Where: the Yellow Card scheme in the UK, MedWatch in the US. Our Yellow Card guide for PSSD shows each step.
• Use the right words. If symptoms continued after stopping, write Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (MedDRA 10086208).

Our reporting guide walks you through it

What else do people ask about PSSD and relationships?

Will my partner’s PSSD go away? For some people it has lasted years after stopping. Nobody knows yet who will be affected, or whether it will ease. Benjamin’s began in 2011 and was still there when he was interviewed in 2024. Our article on recovery from PSSD goes through what is known.

Can a relationship survive PSSD? Some have and some haven’t. In October 2026 we searched PubMed, the main database of medical studies, and found no study of couples with PSSD. So nobody can give you odds. In the UK study, Jo’s relationship survived and Thomas’s ended. Nick’s girlfriend knew about his PSSD before they started dating. “I feel really lucky to have her,” he says.

Play video: Nick on his girlfriend (extract)

Where can I get support for myself? This is hard on you too, and you can get help of your own. If you live in England and are struggling with low mood or worry, NHS talking therapies will take a referral straight from you. You don’t need a GP appointment first. If you’d rather go together, couples therapy is one of the types the NHS lists.

Someone once asked Benjamin if losing sex was really such a big deal. He found the words to answer. Your partner may not have them yet, so reading our PSSD page together could help. If they agree, report it with them.

Sources

1. Healy D, Bahrick A, Bak M and colleagues. Diagnostic criteria for enduring sexual dysfunction after treatment with antidepressants, finasteride and isotretinoin. Int J Risk Saf Med 2022;33(1):65-76. Proposed criteria from an expert group, not an official diagnosis. Section 3 (PSSD), necessary: “An enduring change in somatic (tactile) or erogenous (sexual) genital sensation after treatment stops.” Additional: “Enduring reduction or loss of sexual desire.” Ancillary sexual symptoms include “decreased vaginal lubrication (females)”. Ancillary non-sexual symptoms “may include” “emotional numbing”, “other sensory problems involving skin, smell, taste or vision” and “cognitive impairment”. Section 9: “once dysfunction lasts for three months, it is more likely to be PSSD”.
2. Lundbeck Limited. Cipralex (escitalopram) patient information leaflet, electronic Medicines Compendium (UK), revised May 2025. Section 2: “In some cases, these symptoms have continued after stopping treatment.” Section 4 lists as common: “Sexual disturbances (delayed ejaculation, problems with erection, decreased sexual drive and women may experience difficulties achieving orgasm)”.
3. Brugi S, Budd B, Mackie C, Fish S. “It’s taken away the most fundamental things about being human”: the lived experience and impact of post-SSRI sexual dysfunction. Int J Qual Stud Health Well-being 2026;21(1):2717470. Interviews with 10 people in the UK; names are pseudonyms. Thomas: his partner “became self-conscious because she thought it was her”; “I don’t feel pleasure. But I can’t say that”; that relationship ended. Arthur: “like literally overnight, I kind of like couldn’t feel anything anymore for her”. Jo questioned her relationship “six months after I was off [medication], 12 months after I was off it”. In her words, “it never occurred to me that it was still the drug at this point.” And: “It must be me, or it must be us, it must be him.” The authors: “Jo’s relationship survived these questions”. The authors note that most participants were single when interviewed.
4. MHRA Yellow Card, How to report: “You can report for yourself or for someone else, with their permission.” GOV.UK, Report a problem with a medicine or medical device: “Anyone can report a problem.”
5. NHS, Depression in adults: symptoms, page last reviewed 5 July 2023. Lists “low sex drive (loss of libido)”; numbness is not listed.
6. NHS, Talking therapies, page last reviewed 5 November 2025. Self-referral in England (the NHS service finder says “you live in England”) without a GP, for people registered with a GP and aged 18 or over (16 in some areas); couples therapy is listed among the types of therapy.
7. Moral Medicine, Benjamin’s 14-Year Battle with PSSD, 16 July 2024 (30 minutes), embedded here as two extracts, 8:40 to 10:09 and 24:46 to 25:25. From the YouTube auto-captions. In 2011, aged 27 (2:15). Aged 40 at the interview, with PSSD “there for my entire 30s” (2:18 to 2:26). Married before the antidepressant (3:32). A friend’s question, “is it really that big of a deal” (9:03 to 9:07). “The other 90% is you don’t want to have sex anymore” (9:34 to 9:37). “The back burner part of sexuality is what I miss the most” (10:03 to 10:09). Second extract, 24:46 to 25:25: a “sensory processing delay”; directions have to start over, like “a funnel going into my brain”, where “only a little bit of information can come through at once” (25:17 to 25:25). His story on our site: Benjamin’s story.
8. Moral Medicine, PSSD: Man Lives With Complete Sexual And Emotional Blunting, interview with Nick, 30 May 2023 (30 minutes), embedded here as an extract from 23:08 to 23:27. From the YouTube auto-captions: his girlfriend “knew about it” before it got bad, “we started dating even though she knew about it”, “she’s not bothered by it”, “I feel really lucky to have her” (23:22 to 23:25). His story on our site: Nick’s story.
9. Our search: PubMed, 28 October 2026, for PSSD or “post-SSRI sexual dysfunction” with partner, spouse, couple, relationship, wife or husband (33 results), and with caregiver, family or “significant other” (11 results). No study of partners or couples was found.

Sources checked on 28 October 2026. AI-assisted writing and review, not clinical review.