PSSD and relationships: after the crash
PSSD can change touch, desire and feelings, and it can last after stopping. How to tell a partner, family and a GP, and what to do if they doubt you.
SIDEfxHUB is a patient charity. We are not health professionals, and this does not replace medical advice. Don't start, stop or change any medicine because of what you read here. Talk to your doctor first.
If you are in crisis:116 123 Samaritans (UK)988 Lifeline (US)Find a helpline
Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (PSSD) can last after stopping an SSRI or SNRI antidepressant, and it often changes relationships as well as sex. What helps most is explaining it in plain words, early, to the people closest to you.
PSSD is more than sexual problems. The 2022 criteria describe a lasting change in genital sensation, often numbness, and also emotional numbing, problems with thinking and changes in other senses. A partner may notice the flatness before they notice anything else.
The UK leaflet for Cipralex (escitalopram) says sexual problems have, in some cases, “continued after stopping treatment”. That one line can be a good place to start a hard conversation.
How do I tell my partner about PSSD?
Start with what has changed for you, then give it a name. Something like: “Since the tablets, touch feels numb and I don’t feel things the way I did. It isn’t about you. It has a name, and it’s on the leaflet.”
Short and specific works better than a long explanation. Your partner may hear “sex” and miss the rest, so say the other parts out loud: feeling flat, struggling to concentrate, or not feeling love as strongly as you know you should.
Showing them the leaflet line, or our PSSD page, can take some of the weight off you. They can read it in their own time and come back with questions.
From the outside, PSSD can look like you’ve stopped wanting them. Less desire, less reaction to touch and a flatter mood are easy to take personally.
It helps to name the difference between what you feel and what you’d like to feel. “I want to want you” is a sentence many couples find useful. It tells your partner the problem is the change in you, and that you haven’t chosen it.
Nick’s interview shows this from inside a relationship. He describes emotional blunting after SSRIs, and his girlfriend standing by him. He says he can still show emotions on his face. “But I don’t feel it.” Watch it with your partner if words are hard to find. It’s one person’s story, not evidence of how common this is.
What if a doctor says it’s the relationship?
Some people with PSSD have been told the problem is their partner. In a 2019 study of 62 people who had reported PSSD to a drug-safety website, one was told “maybe you should change a partner”. Another was told “that i should change boyfriend”.
Those people were recruited through that website, so the study can’t tell us how often this happens. It does show that this advice is given, and that others have heard it too.
If symptoms began with a medicine, or stayed after you stopped it, say that clearly. Bring dates. A partner can come to the appointment too, and say what they’ve noticed.
Three questions for your GP
- Could my medicine, past or present, explain these changes?
- Have you heard of PSSD? It's on the leaflet.
- What can we check, and what's the next step if nothing changes?
You could start with: “These changes began with the tablets, and they didn't stop when I did.”
How do I explain PSSD to family and friends?
Tell them what they’ll notice, not the medical detail. “I’m more tired and flat than I used to be, and it’s a medicine side effect that’s lasted” is enough for most people.
You decide how much to share. Parents don’t need to hear about sex to understand that you’re struggling. Close friends may want more, and you can point them to our PSSD page.
If someone doubts you, know that many people say it took time to be taken seriously, at home as well as by doctors. Often people doubt you because they’ve never heard of PSSD.
Give people something they can check: the leaflet line, the condition page, or a video of someone else describing it. A stranger saying the same words can land in a way your own words don’t.
You don’t have to convince everyone. Some friends may drift. Put your energy into the people who listen, and into others who know this first-hand. Our community is one place to find them.
Rosie, president of the PSSD Network, talks about living with PSSD in her interview on our site. This extract can show family that it’s real and lasts.
What can I do now?
These medicines help many people. If you have side effects, that’s a decision for you and your prescriber. Don’t stop suddenly.
Keep a short note you can share: “Sertraline 50 mg from January 2023, last tablet March 2024. Since then: genital numbness, feeling flat, poor focus.” It helps at the GP, and it shows your partner what you’re dealing with.
Report it: it helps everyone
A doctor’s note helps you. A report to the medicines regulator helps everyone else: it is how patterns get noticed.
- No proof needed. A suspicion is enough, even years after stopping. A partner can’t report for you, but they can help you fill it in.
- Where: the Yellow Card scheme in the UK, MedWatch in the US. Our Yellow Card guide for PSSD shows each step.
- Use the right words. If symptoms continued after stopping, write Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (MedDRA 10086208).
Our reporting guide walks you through it
What else do people ask?
Can a relationship survive PSSD? Many do, though nobody has studied how often. Couples describe finding closeness in other ways while the physical side is hard. Talking early and naming the condition seem to help more than waiting for it to pass.
Should my partner see someone too? It can help. A partner carries some of this, and they may need somewhere to talk that isn’t you. A counsellor who works with couples can help you both say difficult things.
Nick’s girlfriend didn’t need every answer to stay. If you can, start with one person, one honest sentence, and the leaflet line.
Sources
- Healy D, Bahrick A, Bak M and colleagues. Diagnostic criteria for enduring sexual dysfunction after treatment with antidepressants, finasteride and isotretinoin. Int J Risk Saf Med 2022;33(1):65-76. Proposed criteria. Section 3: “An enduring change in somatic (tactile) or erogenous (sexual) genital sensation after treatment stops”; ancillary symptoms “may include” “emotional numbing”, “other sensory problems” and “cognitive impairment”.
- Healy D, Le Noury J, Mangin D. Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction: patient experiences of engagement with healthcare professionals. Int J Risk Saf Med 2019;30:167-178. 62 people from 23 countries recruited through RxISK.org. Section 3.4: participants P7 and P39, quoted as published.
- Lundbeck Limited. Cipralex (escitalopram) patient information leaflet, electronic Medicines Compendium. Section 2: “In some cases, these symptoms have continued after stopping treatment.”
- GOV.UK. Report a problem with a medicine or medical device.
- Moral Medicine, PSSD: Man Lives With Complete Sexual And Emotional Blunting, May 2023.
- Moral Medicine, Interview with PSSD Network President Rosie, 9 July 2024.
Sources checked on 22 October 2026. AI-assisted writing and review, not clinical review.
This information does not replace medical advice. Talk to your doctor before you make any decision about your treatment.
620+ people have joined the registry.
Join them, then report your side effects.
Free. Sign up takes 2 minutes.